Do you know why I got you a cell phone?

Reason # 1

It is only because you nagged me.


Reason # 2

To make your mom mad.

Reason #3

To match your shoes.

Reason #4

Because the last phone I got you and your brothers only cost me $1500

Reason #5

Because I love you.

Tatoos were "reinvented" by Dennis Rodman

Who decided to paste as many on his body as he could. I could give you many more reasons not to get a tattoo, like the fact that they are almost permanent, it hurts, and it never quite turns out they way it looked on paper...but I will leave it at the Dennis Rodman thing...

Getting along with your mom's boyfriend

I understand how hard it is to get along with him.

It is hard to get along with anyone after meeting them more then one of two times. Becuase after that we don't ask any more questions about them, or wondering how they feel,,,it seems like we got it figured out already...and that is "good enough".

Most people want a couple of simple things, have a good time, get few hassles and not have to deal with people who do not want to be where they are at.

You have asked me a couple of times...why I don't seem to get upset.

I have tried to explain....I did not choose him...your mom did...and I have to respect that decision, whether I like it or not. I am trying to get along with "mom's friend" and make the best out of an uncomfortable situation.

I thought I was going to to die

So despite my concerns about everything else (What are people going to think...what if it is a false alarm...what if it is real and I sorta knew...) I let my girlfriend know and talked about going to the urgent care clinic after stopping at the house. She said to go right away and that she would meet me.

I worried a little about driving, hoping she would take the same route and not find me in a ditch.

Going to the clinic, see the worried look on the faces of the clinic staff, hearing a lot of confusion, riding in the back seat of the ambulance, heading into the Emergency Room, and waiting and waiting...

The waiting kills you. Whether waiting in bed, waiting for your roomate to stop coughing, waiting for the night to be over, waiting to go to bed, waiting for them to stick another needle in you, waiting in a wheelchair is probably worse.

You think about missing people and what it would be like if you were actually gone.

You guys showed up and were great supportive, it was cute when my youngest said "Dad did you know I scored three goals on Saturday..." and I replied "yes I was at the game." and my daughter was solely focused on how she was going to get me to pay for her cell phone and my oldest talked about his new found fascination with needles andhis new piercings.

You acted like young adults, keeping thngs light but not afraid to have emotions. I appreciated the hugs...yes I noticed and your love at a most incovenient time.

Why it is important to go to family events

Actually, it is easier not to go, because when most of your family lives two hours away, you have to factor four hours of driving time, which makes it hard to go and come back the same day. So you think about staying at your brothers or sisters house, then you have to make arrangements to stay at the last minute. Plus things you had plan at home don't get done, and you feel like the while thing is just another hassle, and it would be easier just to stay home....

But you miss so much when you are not there, because everyone else is juggling a couple of things and it would be anothers couple of weeks or months before you see them again and you miss out on how they are doing and feeling and everytime I leave I realize what I could have missed and that has made it easier to go.

Your cousin gets a full scholarship to go to college

and he did the community service work and kept his grades up and followed through on the scholarship applications. He did what he had to do and got the results he wanted.

Showing your concern for others

They had the big Immigrant Rights rally in town on April 10th and on your own, you decided to participate and miss school to come to the event. I could have never been more proud of you. You had an opportunity to see people come out of the shadows and particpate in the largest collection of rally's this country has ever seen. It was overwhelming to see that many people in our small town.

Thanks you for making me so proud.

It was only a belated birthday card

But you could tell by the poem he wrote, the way he cut out the pink and white strips of paper to make the border and the alternating pink, white and gray dots and the handwritten note on the back meant this was important.

Important enough to tell his sister he loved her and was proud of her.

Respect

When I was out of town last month and found out your did not make your high school sports team, I was confused at first because I thought you said you did not make the varsity team, and playing junior varsity wasn't that bad. But when it became clear that you did not make the Junior Varsity team, after playing on a club team all year, I was shocked that there could be 37 other people at your high school who were better then you.

I decided to leave things alone, after first getting pretty mad and upset. I spoke with your mom and she suggested to let you decided what actions I should take.

The coach called me out of the blue and tried to explain the situation, which I think made matters worse on my part, because why did he called if everything was on the up and up? I laid out a plan on how to cause a mess and force them to put you back on the team. I made one last call to your mom and she said to speak to you first.

You said you wanted to talk to the coach yourself, and planned on showing up for one of the upoming games. I told the coach your plans to talk to him, and indicated that if I had not made the team with all my friends, I could not be as supportive.

But you did it , you went up to the coach and shared your thoughts and listened to what he had to say...

I am proud of you, almost more proud then I could have been if you made the team.

Silly Pictures

As it usually happens at family event we line up for family pictures, and it was no different at my daughter's birthday party.

I guess the older members of my family realize that these times are fewer and far between and this time I had more then half my brothers and sisters attend.

As we were lined up for the "family only pictures" it is now important to recognize the new live in boyfriends and girlfriends of recently divorced brothers and sisters as family. This had not seemed to be that important to me before.

As these new "family" members scrambled to get in the picture, my nephew said "silly pictures" reminding me that I used to be the family photographer and the only way I could settle my children for one photo sitting was to offer the chance for a "silly picture" right afterwards.

Maybe the "silly pictures" meant that it is silly to see family is such a narrow way.

I apologize for the delay in paying for your schooling

Money got tight and I did the worse thing I could do.

What I did was not saying anything to anyone, and tried to solve it myself.

All I ended up doing was making things worse.

I should know by now to ask for help, but I thought I could figure it out.

I don't want you to blame me, but it was my fault.

An even though I saved some money, it does not take the pain away.

Thanks for calling yesterday

My youngest son (almost 13 years old) had a problem of forgetting to check in with his mom after school, to let her know where he was and what he was doing. His mom and I had been planning his sister's birthday party and going over financial matters, so I was at their house more the unsual the past several week. Unfortunately, the last three times I was there he was no where to be found and we had no clue as to where he was.

The first time it happened, I pulled him aside and indicated that I did not what this to happen again. The second time, we searched several houses and made a couple of phone calls before we found him at a new friends house. Last weekend I spent almost an hour looking for him and let him know how upset I was.

So we agreed that everyday after school, he would call me to let me know what he was doing and where he was at. He still needed to check in with his mom for approval, but I would always know where to find him.

The first day he did not forget to call. I could have not been prouder of his actions.

Distance

You told me you chatted for about fifteen minutes with your older brother last night. He is 18 and away from home at college and your are almost thirteen.

Being away from family and friends has helped him understand, how not to take things for granted.

Even though he lived with me for the past couple of years, you miss him, all of us do...but that's it how it happens, we have so little time to connect and when we do, it not much later that they leave.

True friendships never end.

You can be a Princess someday...

You did look like a princess at your sweet sixteen party last weekend.

As we talked about earlier that day, one of the reasons your mother was so excited (agitated, would be more the word...) was that she and her sister had put in so much time with the decorations, keepsakes, color schemes, cake and the program that it left little time for anythign else.

You also understood that one of reasons she was so "involved" is that she did not have a quincera when she was a teenager. As long as I can remember, she had talked about you having one, and even with our divorce, she did not let the idea go away, even though we did not have it for your 15th birthday.

It was a wonderful time for everyone who was there. The words your aunt shared about you and the poem your cousin wrote resonated with everyone in the room.

The dance afterwards when all your friends came and dance and ate and drank soda (I checked the parking lot several times to make sure no one was drinking or smoking anything else...) looked like everyone was having fun, even your cousins.

The pictures and videos should make the memories last, I will never forget this time. I know you never will.