Going to your cousins wedding

I had a plan, I thought.

First, get you to pack a day early from the dorms
you were staying in
for the three week summer program

Second, get you excused from the program early

Three, take you to your mom's house to get dressed
and the have enough time to get back to Deforest
and have an hour to spare
before we traveled out of town for the wedding

But you did not understand my text message (again!)
and you did not pack
when I showed up you said you had thought about it
we spent an hour longer then i planned
but filled your dirty clothes and clean ones in the same bag.

I picked you up in the morning
and you said a few good byes and
we were still a half hour ahead of the schedule
so I was feeling pretty good

your sister was still asleep when I called
and seemed ready to almost get up
before we would get to your mom's house.

But she did not know what dress to wear
and when your mom offered advice
it did not speed things up

You mom made breakfast
and that seemed to help
even though I had asked you to eat in the cafeteria before I picked you up
and I had made myself breakfast earlier

I probably should not have said
"Is breakfast ready?"
when I called to try to wake up your sister
and your mom answered

but by the time we were all ready
you ended up wearing shorts
for the wedding ceremony
and jeans and a pink shirt for the reception

It was probably the first time
you have been around
so many mexicans

the same mexicans
i had grown up with
who taught me about love, friendship and violence
where I learned about fear
anger and avoiding pain.

and it brought back so many memories
of friends
and acquaintances
that it seemed like I was sixteen again
with just enough confidence
to not know what I was doing again

you hung out with your family
and it is starting to sink in
that you are part of this thing
our family
which is great and bigger
then you can imagine
and will be with you
long after I am gone.

You passed your drivers license road test today

and that was the easiest part.

In between our phone texting
back and forth
the days before the road test appointment
I was confused and realized
I did not have your social security card or number
and neither did you.

and as we got to the DMV place
I tried calling my accountant
but you have not been on my taxes for years
so we got ahold of your mom
but that did not work either
because her important papers were at home.

I also had to put on a rear view window
that was knocked off when your sister was in a car accident with my vehicle
a year ago
and as I was trying to see if it was steady enough
to pass the test
and then the mirror broke off
in my hands
and fell to the floor

being upset
and angry at myself
at first not having your social security card
and now not having a car suitable for the drivers exam
was probably not the best recipe
for helping you pass your drivers test

There was a person from your high school
who I had a connection with
she had won the Spelling Bee
three years in a row and
helped us out with our Spelling Bee fundraiser at work
and I had met her father.
She was not ready for her road test
it was clear, but she was going to do it anyways
just another reminder that I know too many people
from my work

and before we had a chance to finish the conversation
a student of mine
was also there with her boyfriend
and she had been driving a long time
without a license
but she did not exactly know the rules
like "Y" turn
and decided to run outside to see how it was done
after you were nice enough to
try to explain it to her.

but my son, you did it
you passed the road test
even though you lost points
for not looking at the cross traffic
and checking your mirrors
more then once

you earned your license
despite all I tried not to do
in a clumsily fatherly way
to have you fail

like I did my first time
I took the road test

I received a phone call today from my 19 year old daughter

Dad?
Yes...
How do you make rice?
Rice?
Yeah. How do you make rice for one person?
Mexican rice or white rice?
White rice.
Well...
get a cup of rice, a little oil, cook for a minute and a half and then pour in a cup of water and simmer
ok