Getting to your soccer game or getting information about where and when your soccer game was was not as easy...

Even though it was not my weekend to be with you, I was aware that you had a Saturday morning soccer game against a cross town rival. When you called me to ask if I was planning on watching the game, I shared with you the fact that I was doing some volunteer work and interviewing scholarship applicants, and there was a slight chance we might have a break in our schedule to get away to watch the game, but it would be for only a short while. You said that was fine and you understood I had other plans.

Twenty minutes later, I got another call from you, and you asked me if I knew what time the game was. I said I thought it was in the morning maybe 10 or 11 am, but I was not sure. I mentioned that the schedule was on your mom's refrigerator so check that, but you mentioned that you were already out of the house, so I needed to try to get the information about the game.

I called the parent of the only teammate that I had a phone number for, and as I was dialing the number, I remembered we had a conversation recently that the same teammate had been moved up to the varsity team and might not know the schedule. When your former teammate answered he did not know the schedule.

The building where we were doing the interviews, was filled with computers had access pass codes. So I had to leave and go to my work to get the information. I found out that the game was still today, not at the school, but at a different location. it was clear I wish I had just taken you.

I was invited to the cookout today

It was the perfect spring day
sunny, but not to bright
warm, but no breeze to cool things down
a couple of days before Spring Break
and the timing was perfect.

My second oldest son called first
to let me know
it would be "ok" to come by
which normally would have meant
that I was supposed to buy the hamburger meat
chips and beer

But I told him
I had already had plans to go to Chicago
to meet a friend for dinner
and had to take a rain check
and he sai that was "ok"

On the highway down to Chicago
I stopped to fill up on gas
and noticed I had missed a couple of calls
from my oldest son
who was the principal cookout organizer

When I called back
he asked for my old neighbors
cell phone number
and I asked
"why do you want that?"
he got quiet for a second

"Well, the propane tank
on mom's grill is empty
and I wanted to know if Larry would
let us borrow his?"

"No, don't call him just go to the hardware store"

"Those tanks are twenty bucks!"

and before I could answer
my cell phone got disconnected
and either he must have figured it out
or he figured it out
because he didn't call back.

It seemed like old times again.

S called me around 7 p.m. on Saturday night
to let me know the the NCAA Wrestling Championships were on television that night.

I had already know it was this weekend
and had an offer on the table of a tournament ticket, hotel and a ride to Omaha
but turned it down because I knew
this would be the first weekend
he would be getting out of the psych ward of hospital
for the sixth time of his young life.

I was watching March Madness Basketball Tournament,
the NCAA version, and quickly scanned the satellite dish
to find out which channel NCAA wrestling was playing on

and it had Jayson Ness of Minnesota wrestling in the 133 lbs. finals.
and S had wrestled Jayson in the Finals of the Northern Plains Tournament in the summer of 2005 at 125 lbs.
and Ness had dominated everyone else in the tournament.
The match was still 0-0 going into the second period
and although S lost in the next period, he had wrestled one of the best wrestlers in the country
to a close match.

At Nationals that year in Fargo, S decided not to cut a lot of weight and decided to wrestle up a weight at 130 lbs.
and later on, talking at the tournament, he mentioned Jayson Ness
had come up to him and asked him how he was doing.
S was surprised when I said that Jayson had looked at the brackets
and did not see S's name, although he did see S at weigh ins.
and probably S was only wrestler that had caught his attention
and Ness was acknowledging that.

It was a nice surprise to see Ness come back and win the NCAA FInals match on television
with his signature duck under and body lock for the back points and victory
with 18 seconds left

and we both cheered and were happy for Ness
we were talking wrestling again
and forgot for a moment that
my son has been struggling with a mental illness
for three years now
and he was back
to just being
my son again

Having dinner together last night

at your favorite Mexican restaurant with your brothers and your boyfriend J.

I was proud to see you order your food in Spanish.

When the conversation turned into favorite memories.. the first topic was my "Yah's!
My too often used comment when you guys were younger, that was supposed to both signify " I had enough" and "pay attention" and "be still".

The other memories of your brother biting and all of you coming back from extended stays in Colombia and not speaking a word of English and teasing your older brother.

It was a great time just listening to how the versions of what actually happened has changed over the years and How I remember things is not always the exact truth but pretty close...

What do you do with the left over hamburger meat after you make a meal?

In her 10th day in her first apartment, my daughter called me and asked ?

What do you do with the left over hamburger meat after you make a meal?

At first, I thought about laughing out loud. I am not much of a cook, and I am probably the last person I would ask a question about cooking unless it was about making an omelet or something simple like that, but it was clear, my daughter was asking a serious question.

Well, there are two ways to handle hamburger after you make a meal. You can put the leftover meat back in the refrigerator but you have to cook it in the next couple of days.

Or the simpler way is to cook all the meat and meal and have some leftovers ready to microwave when you are hungry.

Ok. Thanks!

Going to your cousins wedding

I had a plan, I thought.

First, get you to pack a day early from the dorms
you were staying in
for the three week summer program

Second, get you excused from the program early

Three, take you to your mom's house to get dressed
and the have enough time to get back to Deforest
and have an hour to spare
before we traveled out of town for the wedding

But you did not understand my text message (again!)
and you did not pack
when I showed up you said you had thought about it
we spent an hour longer then i planned
but filled your dirty clothes and clean ones in the same bag.

I picked you up in the morning
and you said a few good byes and
we were still a half hour ahead of the schedule
so I was feeling pretty good

your sister was still asleep when I called
and seemed ready to almost get up
before we would get to your mom's house.

But she did not know what dress to wear
and when your mom offered advice
it did not speed things up

You mom made breakfast
and that seemed to help
even though I had asked you to eat in the cafeteria before I picked you up
and I had made myself breakfast earlier

I probably should not have said
"Is breakfast ready?"
when I called to try to wake up your sister
and your mom answered

but by the time we were all ready
you ended up wearing shorts
for the wedding ceremony
and jeans and a pink shirt for the reception

It was probably the first time
you have been around
so many mexicans

the same mexicans
i had grown up with
who taught me about love, friendship and violence
where I learned about fear
anger and avoiding pain.

and it brought back so many memories
of friends
and acquaintances
that it seemed like I was sixteen again
with just enough confidence
to not know what I was doing again

you hung out with your family
and it is starting to sink in
that you are part of this thing
our family
which is great and bigger
then you can imagine
and will be with you
long after I am gone.

You passed your drivers license road test today

and that was the easiest part.

In between our phone texting
back and forth
the days before the road test appointment
I was confused and realized
I did not have your social security card or number
and neither did you.

and as we got to the DMV place
I tried calling my accountant
but you have not been on my taxes for years
so we got ahold of your mom
but that did not work either
because her important papers were at home.

I also had to put on a rear view window
that was knocked off when your sister was in a car accident with my vehicle
a year ago
and as I was trying to see if it was steady enough
to pass the test
and then the mirror broke off
in my hands
and fell to the floor

being upset
and angry at myself
at first not having your social security card
and now not having a car suitable for the drivers exam
was probably not the best recipe
for helping you pass your drivers test

There was a person from your high school
who I had a connection with
she had won the Spelling Bee
three years in a row and
helped us out with our Spelling Bee fundraiser at work
and I had met her father.
She was not ready for her road test
it was clear, but she was going to do it anyways
just another reminder that I know too many people
from my work

and before we had a chance to finish the conversation
a student of mine
was also there with her boyfriend
and she had been driving a long time
without a license
but she did not exactly know the rules
like "Y" turn
and decided to run outside to see how it was done
after you were nice enough to
try to explain it to her.

but my son, you did it
you passed the road test
even though you lost points
for not looking at the cross traffic
and checking your mirrors
more then once

you earned your license
despite all I tried not to do
in a clumsily fatherly way
to have you fail

like I did my first time
I took the road test

I received a phone call today from my 19 year old daughter

Dad?
Yes...
How do you make rice?
Rice?
Yeah. How do you make rice for one person?
Mexican rice or white rice?
White rice.
Well...
get a cup of rice, a little oil, cook for a minute and a half and then pour in a cup of water and simmer
ok

My cell phone broke

my phone broke, mom doesn't seem like she wants to do anything about it. is there anything you could do about it? It really sucks not having one.






Yes.